10 Things My Parents Forbade Me From Doing (And the Lessons I Learned Anyway)

Because growing up with Caribbean parents meant rules, prayers, and promises.

Introduction: The Gospel According to My Family

If you grew up in a traditional home, especially a Jamaican or Caribbean one, then you already know. Every rule came with a proverb, a side-eye, and sometimes a Bible verse.

My childhood was filled with love, discipline, and a firm belief that anything Madonna did was a warning sign. My parents and grandparents had a vision for my life, one that involved education, modesty, and a lot of prayer.

Here are the ten things I was absolutely, positively forbidden to do and the little lessons (and laughs) that came with each.

1. Listen to Madonna

“She’s confused, promiscuous, and sacrilegious.”

Those were my mother’s words, not mine. Growing up, Madonna might as well have been the Antichrist in a lace glove. I could hum along to Whitney, sway to Sade, but “Like a Virgin”? Absolutely not.

Quiz Question: Which artist did your parents declare “off-limits” growing up, and did you sneak a listen anyway?

2. Wear Anklets

“Only prostitutes wear anklets.”

That’s the kind of blunt honesty Caribbean elders are known for. I promised my grandmother I’d never wear one, and I’ve kept that promise to this day.

Quiz Question: Did your family ever label a harmless fashion trend as a moral crisis?

3. Get a Belly Button Piercing

I struggled with this one for years. It looked cute, summery, maybe even rebellious. But I made my mother a promise not to get one. She reminded me often and passionately that “your body is not for decoration.”

Quiz Question: Have you ever promised your parents not to do something and actually kept it?

4. Get a Tattoo

This one was easy. I never really wanted one. My family saw tattoos as marks that couldn’t be prayed off. It wasn’t rebellion I was after, it was approval. And honestly, I’ve never regretted staying ink-free.

Quiz Question: What’s one “forbidden thing” you’re secretly glad you never did?

5. Travel to Mexico While Living in New Mexico

This one felt oddly specific. I was in college in New Mexico, and all my classmates took quick weekend trips to Mexico. My parents? “Absolutely not.” Their reasons were vague, something about danger, bad influences, and “why you need to leave the state you are already studying in?”

Quiz Question: Where did your parents warn you never to go, and did you ever go anyway?

6. Go on a Date Before Finishing My Freshman Year of College

Dating was considered a distraction, a perilous detour from my academic pursuits. My parents said, “Finish your books before you finish with boys.” And honestly? It probably saved me from a few heartbreaks and many awkward dinners.

Quiz Question: What was your parents’ rule about dating, and did you break it, bend it, or wait it out?

7. Go to the Club

That one was simple: “No child of mine will be wining up in no dancehall!”

Truthfully, I never had the desire. I don’t like crowds or people in my personal space, so this rule and I were in perfect agreement.

Quiz Question: Were you more of a “stay home with snacks” person or a “sneak out with friends” kind of teen?

8. Wear Makeup

My grandfather said, “You’re already pretty. You don’t need it.”

So I didn’t wear Makeup until my twenties. For years, I went bare-faced, and it taught me confidence the natural way.

Quiz Question: What beauty rule from your family shaped how you see yourself today?

9. Don’t Travel Alone Overseas

Despite what people say, my parents were firm on this one: “It’s dangerous, especially for a young woman.” They believed solo travel was something that could wait until life offered more security and wisdom. I used to roll my eyes at that rule, but now I understand the love hidden inside it. Their warnings weren’t about control; they were about protection.

Quiz Question: Did your family ever discourage independence in the name of safety, and do you see it differently now?

10. Don’t Get Married Without Prayer

The final and most sacred rule: “Don’t marry anyone until you pray about it.”

Faith has been and remains the cornerstone of my family. They believed that love without prayer was like a house without a foundation.

Quiz Question: What’s one piece of wisdom from your parents or grandparents that still guides your choices today?

Conclusion: From Rules to Reflection

I used to think these rules were just restrictions, ways to clip my wings. Now I see them differently. They were guardrails, not chains.

Each “no” taught me patience, discernment, and self-respect. They shaped the woman I am grounded, grateful, and guided by promises made in love.

So yes, I never wore an anklet, never got a piercing, never traveled alone overseas, and still hum along to Sade instead of Madonna. But I also learned the most important rule of all:

Listen to your elders, but never stop learning who you are.